Good self-care for teens is not bubble baths and face masks. It is a handful of small, repeatable habits: enough sleep, regular movement, steadier screen use, a few go-to coping skills, and someone you trust to talk to. This guide covers each one, shows how to start, and explains when self-care isn’t enough and a therapist can help.
TL;DR
- Sleep comes first: teens generally need 8 to 10 hours, and most are not getting it.
- Move your body about 2.5 hours a week, eat regular meals, and drink water. It does not have to be a sport.
- Manage your phone instead of fighting it: change your feed, use Do Not Disturb, and keep devices out of the bed.
- Build a small coping toolbox (breathing, journaling, music, a hobby) and practice it before you’re stressed.
- If you’ve felt sad, hopeless or withdrawn for two weeks or longer, talk to a trusted adult or a professional.
Table of Contents
- What self-care means for a teenager
- Start with sleep
- Move, eat and drink like it matters
- Take charge of your screen time
- Build a coping toolbox before you need it
- Set boundaries and lean on people
- Our perspective: self-care is the floor, not the ceiling
- When self-care isn’t enough
- Getting support in Bergen County
- FAQ
- Sources
What self-care means for a teenager
The National Institute of Mental Health describes self-care as taking time to do things that help you live well and improve both physical and mental health, which helps you manage stress. Notice what that definition leaves out: it does not say it has to be fun, expensive or photogenic.
For a teen, self-care usually means keeping your body and mind steady while school, friends, family and social media all want a piece of you. It is maintenance, not a reward. Think of it like charging your phone: boring, necessary, and much better done before you hit 1%.
Start with sleep
Sleep is the habit that makes every other habit easier. Guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics and CDC points teens aged 13 to 18 toward 8 to 10 hours a night to support mood, focus and school performance. The gap is large: in 2023, only about 1 in 4 U.S. high school students reported getting at least 8 hours on an average school night.
Try this for two weeks:
- Pick a wake-up time you can keep, including weekends, within an hour or so.
- Work backward 8 to 10 hours to find a target bedtime, then move your current bedtime 15 minutes earlier at a time.
- Stop scrolling 30 to 60 minutes before bed. Charge your phone across the room.
- Ask yourself whether you feel rested, not just how long you were in bed.
That last step comes from how clinicians look at sleep. The B-SATED model looks at behavior, satisfaction, alertness, timing, efficiency and duration, so late-night tech use and an erratic schedule count as much as the raw number of hours.
Move, eat and drink like it matters
You don’t need a team or a gym. The CDC’s emotional well-being guidance lists physical activity, regular balanced meals, and staying hydrated among healthy coping habits, with a target of about 2.5 hours of activity per week. That is roughly 20 minutes a day. The same CDC data shows that as of 2023 only about 1 in 6 high school students met the federal guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activity, so if you’re not there, you’re far from alone.
Easy ways to get there:
- Walk or bike to school or a friend’s house instead of getting a ride.
- Put on music and dance in your room for three songs.
- Try a free YouTube yoga or strength routine.
- Shoot hoops, skate, swim, or walk a dog (yours or a neighbor’s).
For food, aim for regular meals rather than a perfect diet. Skipping breakfast and then running on snacks and energy drinks all day makes stress feel bigger. Keep a water bottle in your bag.
Take charge of your screen time
The advice “just get off your phone” rarely works. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that families talk openly about media use instead of relying only on bans, so teens learn to tell supportive content from engagement-based design that is built to hold your attention.
Small changes that put you back in control:
- Change what your feed shows you. Mute, block or unfollow accounts that leave you feeling worse, and follow things you actually enjoy.
- Use Do Not Disturb during homework and after a set hour at night.
- Notice how you feel after 20 minutes on an app. If it’s consistently worse, that’s useful information.
- Ask a parent to talk it through with you instead of just setting rules. Our articles on managing digital device use for children and the mental health effects of excessive screen time are good starting points for a family conversation.
Build a coping toolbox before you need it
Stress is easier to handle when you’ve already practiced a few tools. Put together a short list and keep it on your phone or on paper:
- Breathing: inhale for four counts, exhale for six, five times.
- Journaling: write for five minutes without editing. Nobody has to read it.
- Music: make one playlist for calming down and another for energy.
- A low-pressure hobby: drawing, baking, photography, gaming with friends, anything with no grade attached.
- A reset move: cold water on your face, a short walk, stepping outside.
Some teens like a “happy box” with notes, photos and small objects that remind them of good things. If you want more ideas, see our list of 10 coping skills that actually work, and this overview of practical self-care habits for supporting mental health. For adults wanting a wider view, our post on effective self-care strategies goes further.
Set boundaries and lean on people
The CDC’s youth mental health guidance says teens can set boundaries with people or situations that disturb their peace, and should feel free to lean on trusted support rather than feeling responsible for fixing everything alone.
In practice that can mean:
- Saying “I can’t take that on this week” to a friend or a group project.
- Leaving a group chat that turns mean.
- Choosing one adult, such as a parent, coach, school counselor or relative, you can go to when things feel heavy.
- Telling a friend what helps when you’re upset: space, a distraction, or just listening.
Saying no is a skill. It feels awkward at first and gets easier with use.
Our perspective: self-care is the floor, not the ceiling
We work with teens and their families every week, and we see the same pattern. Teens who sleep, move and have someone to talk to handle hard stretches better. But self-care does not replace treatment. A teen with anxiety, depression or the aftermath of trauma cannot journal their way out, and shouldn’t be told to try harder.
We also see well-meaning parents hand over a list of habits and expect change. It works better when you build the habits together, start small and get curious rather than critical. When self-care stalls, that is not a failure. It is a signal that more support would help, and asking for it is a strength.
Our approach is to tailor therapy to the teen in front of us, using evidence-based methods such as CBT, and to move at the pace the teen is comfortable with. Our guide to common teenage therapy approaches explains what that can look like.
— Stephen
When self-care isn’t enough
Moodiness is common in adolescence. But the NIMH notes that changes such as self-harm, drug or alcohol use, extreme mood swings or withdrawal often point to more than “growing pains” and may need a clinical evaluation.
The NIMH also advises seeking professional help when distressing symptoms persist for two weeks or longer. Examples include big changes in sleep or appetite, pulling away from people, losing interest in hobbies, or being unable to finish daily tasks.
If that sounds like you or your teen:
- Teens: tell a parent, school counselor or another adult you trust, and say it plainly: “I’ve felt down for a while and I need help.”
- Parents: start with a calm, private conversation, then book a visit with your pediatrician or a licensed therapist for an evaluation. Our post on warning signs of depression in teenagers can help you know what to look for.
- In a crisis: if you or someone you know is thinking about suicide or in emotional distress, call, text or chat 988 any time, day or night. In immediate danger, call 911.
Getting support in Bergen County
If you’re in northern New Jersey, our team offers teen counseling in person and online. Sessions are individualized, and we begin with a free 15-minute consultation so you and your parents can see whether we’re a good fit before committing to anything. You can book a free consultation or read about rates and insurance. Parents who want to understand how we work with teens can also read about supporting teen mental health.
New Jersey also runs a state Youth Resource Spot with self-care pages for physical, mental and other areas, a useful free companion to what’s above.
FAQ
What are self-care skills for teens?
Self-care skills are everyday habits that protect your physical and emotional health: sleeping enough, moving, eating regularly, managing screens, using coping tools like breathing or journaling, setting boundaries and asking for help. You can learn them like any other skill, by practicing a little at a time.
How much sleep does a teenager need?
Guidance from the AAP and CDC points teens aged 13 to 18 toward 8 to 10 hours a night. If you’re regularly getting far less, start by moving bedtime earlier in 15-minute steps and keeping your phone out of reach at night.
What is a good self-care routine for a busy teen?
Keep it small: a consistent wake-up time, 20 minutes of movement, a real lunch, a screen cutoff before bed, and five minutes of something calming like music or journaling. A routine you can keep on a bad week beats an ambitious one you drop after three days.
When should a teen see a therapist instead of relying on self-care?
See a professional if low mood, withdrawal, or changes in sleep or appetite last two weeks or longer, or if there is self-harm, substance use, or thoughts of suicide. In a crisis, call or text 988.
Sources
- Caring for Your Mental Health, NIMH
- Teen Depression: More Than Just Moodiness, NIMH
- Dietary, Physical Activity, and Sleep Behaviors, CDC YRBSS
- Improve Your Emotional Well-Being, CDC
- The Free Mind Formula, CDC
- Sleep Quality and Social Media, AAP
- Understanding the New AAP Digital Media Guidelines
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, SAMHSA
- Self Care, New Jersey Youth Resource Spot